Got the Monday blahs?

As a business owner, sometimes it's difficult to jump up on Monday morning and know exactly what one should be doing to have the most impact.  Other Mondays, there is so much left over from the previous week, it's a challenge to know what to do first. 

This morning, I received an inspriational 3-minute movie that really put any day in perspective.  The statistics may not be uplifting but it should remind us of how often we have opportunities to be of service.  Check it out!

Every Monday Matters

Memorable Memorial Day!

Chris and I decided we wanted to get away for the long weekend.  We were looking for a little romance, adventure and reflection.  Unfortunately, we had waited until the last minute to decide this so most places were booked.  But as luck would have it, Chris called a B&B near Keuka Lake and they had a last minute cancellation.  So off we went!

I myself am not a big fan of B&B's.  It may sound strange but I like the privacy and anonymity of the big hotels.  Years ago when traveling to Maine for work, I stayed in several B&B's.  I felt like I was right on top of the housekeepers and other guests.  I'm not a morning person but if I wanted breakfast - it was usually served around 6 to 7am - which means I had to be up, showered and ready before 7am!  Then I actually had to talk to people because we were all seated around a dining room table together!  

The Wagener Estate is the answer for those like me who don't like B&B's.  The housekeepers Kathy and Joe were helpful but unobtrusive.  The only time we saw them was when they served breakfast (from 8am to 9:30am on the front porch where were seated alone!) or when we went looking for them.

Our room had it's own private entrance and bath (a must!) and deck.  As a matter of fact, by the end of our stay, I was seeking the company of the other guests at breakfast! 

The other highlights of our trip include Wine touring (Dr. Frank's = most delicious, Bully Hill = most fun), hiking six miles on the canalway that joins Seneca and Keuka Lakes, an amazing meal at an unlikely place - the Keuka Restaurant, Main Street, Penn Yan.  The fish fry and macaroni cheese was to die for!!!

All in all we had a great time.  So much so, we've put a deposit down for next year!

This is the Wagener Estate Bed & Breakfast.  The nicest B&B I've ever been to!

This is where we ate breakfast each morning.  We had vegetable frittatas, french toast, peach pancakes.  Kathy is a wonderful cook!!

This is the view of Keuka Lake from Bully Hill Winery. 

Hard lesson to learn

Carl Jung said, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." 

I never really got this until I started doing "The Work" by Katie Byron.  The Work is four simple questions that we can ask about any situation that is bothering us.

1. Is it true?
2. Is it absolutely true?
3. How do I act or behave when I think this thought?
4. How would I act or who would I be without this thought?

Then she offers two ways to turnaround the painful thought.  The first is the reverse the thought; the second is to apply the thought to "you" instead of "them".  Then ask which is truer.

Let's give this a try.  My frustrating thought lately has been..."the kids won't be okay without me" regarding my nephew and his family moving to Texas.

1. Is this true?  At first glance, yes.  They took the kids away from their home and their extended family to move somewhere they have no support.  I was a great influence in their life.
2. Is this absolutely true?  When I dig deeper, I have to admit that their parents weren't very happy here and if they can be happier in Texas, maybe that's even better for the kids.
3. How do I behave when I think this thought?  I get very emotional when I think about not being there for the kids, and then I am judgmental of my nephew and his choices.
4. How would I act if I couldn't think this thought?  I would know that the kids will be just fine without me, I would be more supportive, I would judge less, be more open.

Then the reverse turn around statement "The kids will be okay without me."  Which is truer.  I do believe that kids are resilient and that I will still be an influence in their life.  So I think the turnaround statement is truer.

Then the other turnaround statement is "I won't be okay without the kids."  Which is truer?  By the complete emotional reaction I'm having to that statement - I can tell you it is more true that my pain is coming from the fact that the kids were such a source of joy in my life - I haven't been proactive about replacing what I'm missing.

Not that the kids can actually be replaced - but the time that I spent with them can be spent doing other things that bring me joy.  I haven't given a lot of thought to that until now.

And that my friends is the work!  If you liked this exercise, I encourage you to get the book "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. 
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Texas hold 'em

No I don't play poker.  But I went to Texas last week to hold my niece and nephews for the first time since they moved down there a couple months ago.  I rented a suite, picked up the kids and had four days of glorious play time.  I came home pooped, under the weather but with a permanent smile on my face!

Ben and I were singing.  I can only imagine Kai had heard enough.

Mika and Kai at the zoo checking out the flamingos.

Mika seemed mezmerized by the turtles.

Mika took this shot...hence, the missing part of Chris' head.

Ben never misses an opportunity to flare his nostrils.

Mika ready to show us a thing or two at the batting cages!

How often do we get to a 60th Wedding Anniversary?

This past weekend, we celebrated my parents 60th Wedding Anniversary.  It was wonderful being with many siblings, nieces and nephews.  Ironically, one of my nieces who was supposed to be there went in to labor and missed the party.  But with the wonder of technology, I was able to receive a picture of the brand new baby by phone, post it to Facebook and have it up on my laptop projected to the entire family. 

Why, you may ask, did I have a projector and laptop at my parents anniversary party.  Well, I created a powerpoint presentation for them as a tribute to their 60 years together.  I'm having trouble loading it up here as a video so here is a picture from the event...

My parents at their 60th Anniversary!

 My newest great-nephew Luca who was born during the party!

The problem with logic

Here is a little something that is indisputable mathematical logic. (It also made me Laugh Out Loud.)  Remember, this is a strictly mathematical viewpoint. It goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100 % in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.  ;-)

Values or Behavior?

Whenever we feel a conflict between what we know is right vs. what we really want to do, we are experiencing a conflict between our values and our behavior.  When this happens, we have a choice.  We can alter our behavior to match our values; or we can change our values to match our behavior. 

As you can imagine many people find either of these options difficult and so they just live with the conflict.  They think one thing but do another.  They preach health and wellness, yet they smoke.  They condemn dishonesty at work; yet they cheat on their taxes.  They profess to believe in fidelity; yet push flirting to the limit.

So if you are finding yourself in a similar situation, the first thing to do is examine your values.  Why do you believe what you believe?  Are these beliefs you chose or beliefs that were handed down to you?  Is it really possible that you don't value integrity as much as you would like to? 

If you find your value is a reflection of your true beliefs, then question why your behavior is counter to your values.  Is it just easier?  Path of least resistance?  Do you possibly have an addiction you haven't admitted to?  Many times a behavior in conflict with our deepest values is just a way to self-sabotage our success. 

Whatever you find out through this exploration, you may want to hire a coach or counselor to work through this conflict. 

Aruba, Jamaica, oooh, I want to take you to...

CANCUN!  We're back from a wonderful vacation.  This was my first trip without my laptop and cell phone.  So no email or voicemail for a week.  It was quite an adjustment the first few days.  I kept looking around for something to do (electronic) and had to keep reaching for my books.  I took a few solo walks on the beach.  Played in the ocean waves and collected shells for entertainment.  And we ate some of the most amazing meals we've ever had.  Needless to say, we came back very refreshed.  If it's been awhile since you've taken some time off from the TV, Internet, cell phone and iPod, I highly recommend it.

There's a reason Crayola has a color "caribbean blue"

Holy guacamole!

Yes, all the drinks were hers!

The view from our resort's lobby.  I know!

Best signs ever!

After swimming in a cenote!

Looks like a certain Corona commercial.

Dinner at Perico's.

The best soup ever - La Habaschuela!

Very relaxed on our last night.

Life goes on...

This past weekend, we had a baby shower for my niece Jessica.  She and her husband are expecting their baby boy in May.  It was a bittersweet event for me.  On the one hand, I'm getting ready to welcome my 4th great nephew into this world.  On the other, I'm getting ready to say goodbye to Ben, Mika and Kai (my nephew Mike's kids)...as they are moving to Texas this week. 

It's period of adjustment for me.  Just about every other weekend has been spent with these kids and I'm not sure what I'll do with all the "mothering" I've lavished on them.  But I'm taking this experience as an opportunity to practice what I preach.  What I focus on expands.  If I just focus on how much I'm going to miss them - I make myself miserable.  If I think about how fun it will be to visit them in Texas -  I actually get excited about the possibilities!  I do think I will be getting to know Texas quite well in the coming months.

Here's some pictures from the shower!

Nick getting some practice before the new arrival!

Jessica - the new mom-to-be - opening a beautiful hand made blankie!

Mika and Kai - before the crash!

Mika - crashed!

I'm in heaven - as you can probably tell!

The two most handsome men in the world!!!

The solution to regret

This may sound like a “no-brainer” but if you don’t have clear goals, that’s the first problem. A goal or a vision of what you want - long term – is the first step. So whether it’s to lose 20 lbs. or to vacation in Paris, you have to be crystal clear about what you want. In other words, your WHY has to be very compelling.

A practical plan for reaching your goal is the next requirement. Without a plan, a goal is just a dream. There are plans for weight loss, money management, even for keeping a relationship strong. So create or borrow a plan from someone else who has done what you want to do.

Next is support. Support and accountability are key. Because no matter how motivated you are when you start – motivation doesn’t last. Just go to a gym January 2nd and then return 30 days later and see the difference. So get a team or coach that will hold you accountable to taking action on your plan. This could be a business coach, financial advisor or even a workout buddy depending on your goal.

The bottom line is that while it might not be human nature to focus on the long-term, the rewards are definitely worth it.  It reminds me of another quote:
 
"A year from now, you'll wish you started today."
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